©1996 Thomas Kline
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©1996 Thomas Kline |
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Setting: Bucky Beaver is dragging a stick, and stumbling around the rocks of a shoreline. Crispin Crab is sitting nearby.
Bucky: Boy, am I lost! I started chewing down this big tree and got all turned around. I guess if I keep walking, I'll find my way back to the ol' beaver lodge. (Bucky stumbles upon Crispin Crab). Yikes!!! What's that?!?!?!
Crispin: (Irritably, even "crabby".) Hey watch where you're goin'!
Bucky: Gosh, Sorry Mr. --ah --ah --ah just what are you?
Crispin: Why, I'm a crab of course! And what are you?
Bucky: I'm a beaver -- the wisest animal on the Copper River Delta. I can build lodges and dams, chew down trees, and . . .
Crispin: Hah! But you are not much of a navigator are you? You must be lost -- never seen a critter like you before.
Bucky: Well, I guess I am a little lost. And I've never seen an animal like you either!
Crispin: First time to the beach, huh? Well, don't worry. You'll see lots of different animals down here. You'll find your crabs like me, and clams, and limpets, and cockles, and chitons, and amphipods, and . . .
Bucky: Wait a minute. I'm confused. I've never heard of any of those animals.
Crispin: I'm not surprised. We all belong to a very exclusive club -- those critters that live right along the shoreline of Prince William Sound. We've got the best view available!
Bucky: Gee your right! Is is beautiful! Much nicer than my dingy little beaver lodge. Do you think I could move here, Mr. Crab?
Crispin: Oh heavens no! What would you eat, or where would you live?
Bucky: That's OK. I'm sure I can figure something out.
Crispin: No, no, no. All us little shoreline critters are specially adapted to live here -- you know -- we have special parts . . .
Bucky: I know, special parts for special things. I still think that I'd like it here.
Crispin: Well, you'd have to drink saltwater, be able to stand getting pounding by the waves, go from freezing water one minute to scalding sun the next, and dig your way under all these rocks. Can you do that?
Bucky: No, I guess I can't. How 'bout in the water? Could I live in the water? I have lots of warm fur and I am a great swimmer!
Crispin: I wouldn't try it Beaver. Let me get my friend Olivia Octopus. She lives in the water -- she might be able to help you. (Crispin leaves stage.)
Bucky: Oh, I can see it now! A beautiful oceanfront home.
Olivia: (slithers up) Well, Hello there. My friend Crispin Crab said that you are interested in moving into my territory.
Bucky: That's right. I'm ready for a change.
Olivia: That's nice. I'm always looking for neighbors. You don't mind the dark and cold do you? And, of course, you can get oxygen from the water.
Bucky: Gosh, I sure don't breath water! You mean I'd have to stay under the water all the time?
Olivia: Sure do, and it helps if you can protect yourself from predators. I can change colors very quickly to blend in. And I can squirt ink as a sort of smokescreen for easier get aways. What can you do?
Bucky: I can hide in my beaver lodge, but that's above water where I can breath plain old air.
Olivia: Oh well, the ocean's not for everyone. Sorry, I've got to go -- I'm starting to dry out! I'll ask Winifred Whale to stop by. She breathes air AND lives in the ocean!
Bucky: (Sitting on his haunches) This may be harder than I though! I thought that I could just move right in ("psssshs" in the background). Oh, this must be Winifred.
Winifred: Well, Hello there little furry critter. What can I do for you?
Bucky: Wow, you are huge!!!! Oh, sorry, my friends along the beach thought that you might be able to help me move to the ocean.
Winifred: I might be able to do just that. First, you'll need a thick, thick, thick layer of fat -- at least two feet -- to keep you nice and warm in the cold water.
Bucky: Oh, I could never eat enough willow to get that fat!
Winifred: No more willow for you, Beaver! From now on you'll eat little bitty shrimp and fish called krill. Only way to keep warm and fat and happy.
Bucky: Gee, I'm not much on fish. I much prefer some leafy green willow.
Winifred: Never do, never do. Gotta keep the ol' fat content up. Then we'll do a little plastic surgery to move your nose to the top of your head . . .
Bucky: Wait right there! I'm not doing any surgery.
Winifred: Well, beaver. You said that you wanted to live in the ocean. You couldn't stay on the beach with the crab, and you couldn't stay in the deep ocean with the octopus. And now you say you can't stay with me. I don't think the ocean is going to work out for you.
Bucky: I didn't know all you ocean animals were soooooo special. I'd have to have all sorts of special parts to help me live in this special place.
Winifred: Don't feel too bad, Beaver. I couldn't live in your pond either. I guess we all live where we're best suited.
Bucky: Well, thanks Winifred. I have a new appreciation for my little beaver pond now -- and for juicy fresh willow. I guess Dorothy was right -- there's no place like home!
Winifred: It was nice meeting you. Give a shout if you ever change your mind about that plastic surgery (disappears).
Bucky: Wow! Those were some special critters! This ocean shore is a beautiful place, but it's not an easy one to move to. I'm going home to sleep in my cozy lil' lodge tonight. See ya!!
